We all know one person

When I say, life comes full circle, I truly believe this.  Every story, ends where it begins.  Not saying that my life is ending but am saying that a circle within my life is coming full. I've been thinking about this topic for .. years.  I want to say, it started when I was 16.   Mental health. At the age of 10 (from what I've recalled) I was sexually abused. Going to court, my objective was that they would face their demons, find our their whys and learn how to heal.   It was the ONLY way, the cycle would stop.  Being angry wasn't the answer, I already knew that anger wouldn't be the cure but forgiveness would be the key that could help others begin their own healing journey.  Moving into a foster home at the age of 17 then on my own at 18. Further in life, I entered a relationship where I abandoned all of who I could be, to get what I felt would fill my life.  While in this, I didn't have faith in myself, I didn't give myself time to heal from the p

Just over a month ago, the rock in life, my father, returned to the earth. Life seemed shattered even though I knew the time was coming faster than anticipated.   I would have this rock in life to have as a foundation to which I built my values.  One in which was hard at times, but lead me on the right path.   To be honest, I've lost more than just one rock this year. But.. What did I gain from those losses? Gratitude I have a tremendous family, large and broad.  For that alone, I am grateful.  I've learnt a lot and gained more than what I felt was necessary.  Nonetheless, gifts of life's experiences were given and I am grateful.  Here is my list of things to do with those you love.. 1. Don't pass the opportunity to tell someone you love them.   2. Let them know the gifts they've given, not just to you but to others.   3. Sit, listen and let them speak.  Listen with the intent to listen.   4. Sip your coffee, tea or beer slowly with them, don't

I’m not sure where to start but this is something that I struggle with. Expressing the faith I’ve discovered over the last few years.  Someone once said, finding faith is something you do in the darkness.  This couldn’t be further from the truth for me. In time, life took a turn and while I found it harder and harder to face the truth my thoughts went to dark places to cope.  I didn’t want to become the person my life was going towards.  After all, I had not been happy for years, it became worse and I could see the end, and it did not bode well.   I confess the challenges that were in my life were a result of misdirected choices, failures and lack of strength to stand up for myself.  Everyone else came first and happiness was found in my life by serving others.  This isn’t a bad thing for most however, in that process I forgot who I was.   Starting therapy with the grace of my boss at the time, he held cover for me while I attended.  I spoke my truths, learning how to deal with

I once read a quote from Winston Churchill, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." and it struck me, stuck with me and essentially molded me.  Even at mid age in life, I could say, this old dog can still learn new things.   A few years back, I decided to leave the corporate world to do what I thought was the "right thing" and was confident this was the correct path.  I left behind a good pension, benefits and security.   After all, I was not going to be that person who spoke about change but didn't live it.   Off I went to change the world.   Within 3 years I learnt exactly what Winston Churchill was trying to tell us.   Those years I experienced, were not just life changing, they were tumultuous.   3 non profits, one where my position was eliminated after 2 months, the second where the contract ended due to lack of funding then, the third where the environment was so toxic that  I lost sleep due to stress, cried many

I can bet that at one point or another in your life you’ve had a burning question about why you are here. what is your purpose. I have, and at times It’s been a struggle.   Why did something happen?   Well, this is what I can surmise.   With all the circumstances that have been presented thus far, I have overcome them.  I reflect on how and why.   How?   While falling, I would find the reason to get up.  After time, looking back I would see that what I felt was an insurmountable climb, it was simply a step up towards something bigger. Each challenge taught me about forgiveness and love.   Knowing now, forgiveness isn’t something that happens over night but an event that happens over days, months and years.   This brings me to the answer to the question which lays within myself and in all of you. Why? To show that forgiveness isn’t just for the other person.  Forgiveness isn’t an act that closes what has torn me apart inside but an emotion tha

In life, we carry a tool box that no one can see and life experiences are the tools we gain along the way.   We stumble, then learn to get back up.  Wiping with our hands, what brought us down.  Pain can teach us a lot, more on how to become resilient, becoming empathic and mostly, forgiving.   Some of the tools are brighter than others.  They teach us to fix what is wrong, to be braver and smarter each day.  When you need a tool you've learnt, no matter how hard the experience was, it will be there to help you fix things, become better, and to heal.

By now, you may know that I've had the diverse life, mostly surrounded by men.   5 brothers, and 2 sons and a few relationships. Throughout life, I've seen some ups and downs from a perspective of a woman but .. at times, listening to a guys point of view here is what I've learnt.   Women were to be at home, taking care of the family and men, they were to bring home the money, pay the bills and not worry about the next step.  Men were to be that knight in shining armour on the horse, saving the day. If a man needs a break, they were seen as "weak" or "unstable".  When a man cries or when they break down, or even ask for help, they feel they no longer "fit" for society. When a woman needs a break, she needs to heal, she requires support and love, compassion and understanding. Women have broken that glass barrier but why haven't men?  Why hasn't society stopped that thought process?  Food for thought You are at work and walk

Gifts, we receive them throughout life however, most of us see them as tangible items passed on to us from another.  I however, see it much differently and of course mostly due to life's experiences.   As a young girl, the neighbours would give me cookies and tea when they saw me wandering the neighbourhood alone.  Yes, the cookies and tea would fill my tummy but what they gave me was safety, security and compassion.  Of course, I didn't see it then but I do now. As a teen, I would watch in awe my father play his guitar.  I would be at his feet, singing along.  Later in life, he gifted me his guitar.  It wasn't about the present but about being present throughout his life.  He gifted me patience, love, empathy and stillness.   As a woman, one of my older brothers tried to gift one of my children his drums.  I refused them in fear of days and nights drowning in the sound of something I wasn't sure I could bare to hear.  This man wanted to gift my children more th

The journey of forgiveness for me started when I was 15.  Due to finding out one of their girlfriends became pregnant, and it was a girl.   The weeks following I had, what I thought were dreams, however in fact, they were flashbacks which I suppressed.  Evenings of being touched when I was 10.  Days of being told to "pretend" they were superhero's that had to do "things".  Then when I was 12, I told someone in which, they told me, "Everyone has secrets" and to forget about it, this was to  never happen again.   I don't believe it ever did happen again, what I do know is that it came flooding back in the instant the pregnancy was announced.   Shortly after, speaking to a school councilor, they registered me with a group with others to talk about it.  Starting privately with a therapist until I was comfortable.  Learning to speak about what happened, and with who.  I went from confused to hurt to angry then .. to forgiveness.  Confusion start

I’ve been struggling with the ability to write lately as life does not stop nor grant forgiveness when, at times we feel it necessary.  Given the last wee bit of time, reflection is a essential coping tool, and for that, I am grateful.   Everyone has a moment, in which they will be challenged to face a decision.  That outcome will be some of your most defining moments.   A friend told me in a moment of privacy the other day this; "Anger is like holding a bit of hot coal, you will always be burnt before you pass it on." Anger will consume you. For every moment I have been given the choice; Anger or to forgive, I have more often than not, chosen to forgive.  Now, I am not perfect and many times, I struggle with this.  I know for one thing, anger drains me.  I literally  can sleep for days on end, want to crawl into a small child and cry.   When I forgive though?  I feel as free as the wind which blows between the trees, flowing and helping to give life.   Don'

While I sit, in a quite space I reflect on faith.  Being that it is Easter Sunday, I see faith as a non-denominational discussion.  My question today for you is;  If we are to understand that we are created in the image of "god" and we have faith in that, why do we not have faith in ourselves?   Many discussions are centred around losing faith in ourselves, not being able to compete a task, failure at what is presented. Do we know that as much as success is part of life, the same can be for failure?  Learning and becoming better is part of the journey we travel on.  To condem failure is to condem life.   Take a moment to look back and see how that each time you've fallen, you've gotten back up.  The times that you have succeeded in the step back, you have become stronger, wiser and better. Believe in yourself and have the same faith.  

I enjoy writing about positive experiences, to show that "we all know one person" who can make a positive change in life.  Today though, I reflected on something I became lost on.   Due to my personal understanding, I know we can be a positive influence on others when we are completely unaware.   Having the privilege of speaking to someone this week about my experiences in life.  W e discussed what I have I learnt, what I've gained and where do I want to go. Firstly, "What have I learnt?"  I am adaptable.  I typically can figure out what people need and what I should do to make the best of any situation.  That's easy, I am, what they call in the the book "5 love languages", one that is "in the service of another" which makes me happiest.  You are happy, I am happy. Secondly, "What I've gained?"  Wow.. gratitude.  Gratitude for opportunities, for people, friends and experience regardless of what they are.   Lastly, &

"Show me love when I feel hate." This is the one thing that can redirect the best of intentions.  We all want to survive and become more than what we ever thought possible.  Hate is the one thing, that holds us back.  It controls us, others and never gives back.  Hate will never serve anything other than itself.  Hate destroys. Love though.. It can forgive.  Love can endure.  Love can heal.  Do not underestimate the power of it.  Love will help friends over come.  Love will help the divided find peace.  Love will show kindness in the smallest of ways.   When you see a moment where hate is growing, give it love.  Show it forgiveness and empathy.  Show how to listen and just be with hate while breaking barriers.  Love will support and encourage.   Show me love when I feel hate and I will become stronger. #Weallknowoneperson .. who overcame hate.  

As life creeps up on us, we can either stick to what we know or learn from what is around us.   I figure, for the most part, we follow in the steps of our parents and those who have an influence on us, taking their example for life. I was granted the fortitude through experience to seek out differences.  With that, I've learned how to hold myself accountable for each of the choices I make daily.  Perhaps not living by a specific religion, I've taken on the gratitude for the faith that has given me to persevere  onto the next chapter, wherever that leads.   Within life's moments, we are given opportunity to stand up for what's right, even when it can be difficult or take the path of least resistance.  The easier one, mostly at times, with the support of those around us with the same opinion.  It could be when a person has been berated and laughter by the group ensues.  Or when a fellow student has been shown in a light, not favouring their best attributes, gossip c

Now I want you to know, that I've done my best to live an honest life.  (sometimes faltering) I've also been privileged to have had opportunity with experience.  Some hard ones, some amazing ones, some beautiful ones.  They've all taught me one very important lesson. Class I could be referring to what you learn in a educational institution but this one is learnt by simply living.   As a young child, we were not afforded much.  For instance, shoes were a privilege and if we got to wear them, it was always for purpose.  Playing outside wasn't necessary to use them during the summer so I learnt what was necessary.  No second thoughts.  As a young woman, I faced many challenges with family.  Which I can say proudly, were over come, keeping as much dignity for everyone intact.  The path I choose to travel on this particular subject wasn't tidy but it sure was the right one. In my mid 20's life did a dramatic change and I was given opportunity to travel and