Mental Health
When I say, life comes full circle, I truly believe this. Every story, ends where it begins. Not saying that my life is ending but am saying that a circle within my life is coming full.
I've been thinking about this topic for .. years. I want to say, it started when I was 16.
Mental health.
At the age of 10 (from what I've recalled) I was sexually abused. Going to court, my objective was that they would face their demons, find our their whys and learn how to heal.
It was the ONLY way, the cycle would stop. Being angry wasn't the answer, I already knew that anger wouldn't be the cure but forgiveness would be the key that could help others begin their own healing journey. Moving into a foster home at the age of 17 then on my own at 18.
Further in life, I entered a relationship where I abandoned all of who I could be, to get what I felt would fill my life. While in this, I didn't have faith in myself, I didn't give myself time to heal from the past and did what I thought was needed to have what I thought I wanted surrendering.
The hurt I took in, almost went through my very soul. Accepting that life as normal, not even thinking for a moment I still needed to heal.
Years past by and while seeing my two boys grow up, I saw the opportunity of how their lives would be challenged and my inner survival kicked in. Becoming a metaphorical bear, I secretly taught them what it was to be a man and how to live their lives for themselves. The biggest issue though? I didn't stand up for myself. I'd take all the hateful words, the anger and everything else that came with it. Again, I thought it just went through me.
Until that day at work, I told someone how all my funds went into "their" account and if I needed some, I had to ask. Even if it was for coffee. I'd have to tell "them" where I was going and with who. The look on my friends face at work, with their head tilting slightly to the right made me think.. and I finally could hear myself.. I tried to back peddle explaining how it was similar to a "50's style" relationship and that I didn't pay any bills anyhow, "that person" did it. Walking back to my desk, the feeling in my gut sank and it was the defining moment when I choose to take life back and start the healing process.
With the encouragement of my boss, I started therapy. I did not know the direction I was headed but I needed to have hope.
A year or so passed, I came to realize that the choice I made to enter that relationship was partly a result of the abuse which happened to me as a young girl. I didn't have acceptance, love, encouragement from those who should have. I didn't have the protection and security one should have from ones so close.
After a good year of talking to someone, working through my hurts, my disappointments, the losses and mostly the fear I worked on my life plan. I walked away from a life that pulled me into dark places, from a life that offered no healing or growth, from a life that constantly told me I was not worthy, similar to the one I had as a child. It was time to complete the healing and become someone I wanted to be.
Looking back now, I remember some dark moments. I thought .. It would be so easy to take a sharp right when driving and just go into the river"
All of this being said, my main focus today is mental health. I am a woman, who has faced some adversity and for some reason, over came. However, there are many who cannot, do not know how or have the support.
Mental health does not discriminate. No sex, no race, no faith. In fact, mental health for women is more supported than it is for men and for that, I come out to say it's time to make a change. I challenge you to start being vulnerable. I say, it is OKAY to say your moments that tore you down, to be honest and ask for a hand.
1. Be kind to yourself first by staring to forgiving. Those thoughts happen and will keep going on until you take the step to talk to someone.
2. Love yourself. You are only human and to be this is also to error. Not a single person on this earth is perfect.
3. Remember, with each step forward, you will find ease no matter the difficulty.
4. The 3 most important words you can say to someone suffering through life isn't "I love you" but "I've got you" so remember to let them know, if they need you, you've got them.
Below is a video I participated in for Little Warriors. It may be a bit tough to see but along with several others, we spoke our truths.
I've been thinking about this topic for .. years. I want to say, it started when I was 16.
Mental health.
At the age of 10 (from what I've recalled) I was sexually abused. Going to court, my objective was that they would face their demons, find our their whys and learn how to heal.
It was the ONLY way, the cycle would stop. Being angry wasn't the answer, I already knew that anger wouldn't be the cure but forgiveness would be the key that could help others begin their own healing journey. Moving into a foster home at the age of 17 then on my own at 18.
Further in life, I entered a relationship where I abandoned all of who I could be, to get what I felt would fill my life. While in this, I didn't have faith in myself, I didn't give myself time to heal from the past and did what I thought was needed to have what I thought I wanted surrendering.
The hurt I took in, almost went through my very soul. Accepting that life as normal, not even thinking for a moment I still needed to heal.
Years past by and while seeing my two boys grow up, I saw the opportunity of how their lives would be challenged and my inner survival kicked in. Becoming a metaphorical bear, I secretly taught them what it was to be a man and how to live their lives for themselves. The biggest issue though? I didn't stand up for myself. I'd take all the hateful words, the anger and everything else that came with it. Again, I thought it just went through me.
Until that day at work, I told someone how all my funds went into "their" account and if I needed some, I had to ask. Even if it was for coffee. I'd have to tell "them" where I was going and with who. The look on my friends face at work, with their head tilting slightly to the right made me think.. and I finally could hear myself.. I tried to back peddle explaining how it was similar to a "50's style" relationship and that I didn't pay any bills anyhow, "that person" did it. Walking back to my desk, the feeling in my gut sank and it was the defining moment when I choose to take life back and start the healing process.
With the encouragement of my boss, I started therapy. I did not know the direction I was headed but I needed to have hope.
A year or so passed, I came to realize that the choice I made to enter that relationship was partly a result of the abuse which happened to me as a young girl. I didn't have acceptance, love, encouragement from those who should have. I didn't have the protection and security one should have from ones so close.
After a good year of talking to someone, working through my hurts, my disappointments, the losses and mostly the fear I worked on my life plan. I walked away from a life that pulled me into dark places, from a life that offered no healing or growth, from a life that constantly told me I was not worthy, similar to the one I had as a child. It was time to complete the healing and become someone I wanted to be.
Looking back now, I remember some dark moments. I thought .. It would be so easy to take a sharp right when driving and just go into the river"
All of this being said, my main focus today is mental health. I am a woman, who has faced some adversity and for some reason, over came. However, there are many who cannot, do not know how or have the support.
Mental health does not discriminate. No sex, no race, no faith. In fact, mental health for women is more supported than it is for men and for that, I come out to say it's time to make a change. I challenge you to start being vulnerable. I say, it is OKAY to say your moments that tore you down, to be honest and ask for a hand.
1. Be kind to yourself first by staring to forgiving. Those thoughts happen and will keep going on until you take the step to talk to someone.
2. Love yourself. You are only human and to be this is also to error. Not a single person on this earth is perfect.
3. Remember, with each step forward, you will find ease no matter the difficulty.
4. The 3 most important words you can say to someone suffering through life isn't "I love you" but "I've got you" so remember to let them know, if they need you, you've got them.
Below is a video I participated in for Little Warriors. It may be a bit tough to see but along with several others, we spoke our truths.
(**Note, there are some triggers in this video and I am one of the speakers)
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