We all know one person

Time Although this is something we feel robbed of, we should never take for granted. It teaches us perspective, patience and  empathy.  Time is space and evolution of matter which signifies growth. Today, take time for yourself and give time to others.

 Your breath Without this, life doesn’t happen.  So, take a deep one.  A long one. Now, exhale.   What was that?   You just gave another life a moment.  Don’t ever think life isn’t important to you and to those around you.  Your breath gives others life and feeds more than you’ll ever know.   Keep on breathing, slow down and live life. 

 Hope It seems as though some of us think we lose it but deep inside, there is always a wee glimmer. Something that we are all born with.  We hope for others and for our future.   Hope is a gift not to let go of.  It feeds our souls, drives our passions and helps format our dreams.  Hope may dim but is always within each of us.   So, go ahead.  Hope for better and more.  No matter how difficult it may seem, have hope and never give up. (This photo was after I hiked to the peak of Thanksgiving Mountain where I rediscovered hope)

Gratitude. This gift is one we feel.  It is an emotion, an expression and it changes how we see life.  Gratitude can not be taken away but can be given in abundance, with love.   (This is a photo of my father and I.  The gratitude I have for a moment like this fills my cup and brings me more joy that I could ever express) The benefits we gain from gratitude are emotional, social, personality, career and health.   Today, take a moment with yourself and be present.  Reflect on something that has given you joy and hold on to it.  

There comes a time in life for each of us, when we recognize the gifts that have been given.  These may not be monetary or physical but gifts of life.  Seeing as the holidays are approaching, I will share with you gifts received in my life to this date.  This isn’t a challenge but a simple task of expressing love.  Be prepared for honesty, vulnerability and perhaps a few laughs.  Then, I challenge you to share your gifts.   Love, Nicky

Life ebbs and flows and along with the experiences, we evolve.  Change will happen, this we know for sure however, learning to adapt is a difficult process.   Becoming healthier is key to survival and when I say healthy I reflect this with not just physical but also mentally.  I will express a personal experience in which I witness a metaphorical change such as a butterfly coming out of a cocoon.  Seeing this in action was beyond measure.   If you witness this change or experience it, be with the moment.   For yourself, take the gratitude in, breathe and fill your lungs.  Give your heart a break, your mind a rest and sleep with peace beside you.

I’ve been doing some research and reflection on the survival rate of abuse and relationships.  Of course, this sounds quite daunting, it’s brought clarity and quite surprisingly, strength in my life.   I have started to shift from the past, to the present and am driving towards what the future can be. My perspective has always been that our bodies are vessels, filled with energy.  This can be positive or negative, and those difference are driven from life's experiences.  The type can be altered depending on which direction we want life to go.  The variances of these two types of energy can be vast however, this again is driving by what has surrounded us and our capacity to survive. We can sit in the past and let the energy of what has left fill our souls, drive the direction and stop living or we can let go that past energy and start to accept what is coming or will be.   I’m not a specialist by education but by my personal life experiences.  From an e...

 On a daily basis I give gratitude.  I live in abundance of this and choose to return it.  I share, I give, I feed and I love.  I cannot do anything different and it is who I am.  One of my fondest memories, is about my younger son.  Although both have taught me more than I could have ever anticipated, this moment was not only about gratitude but pride.  I believe what I had been trying to do, was right and I saw it unfold with my own two eyes. Before I tell you about it, let me lay some base.  We had lived in a life surrounded by bigotry, racism, misogyny, sexism, ignorance and intolerance.  Both of us knowing full well it wasn’t right, I made a life change to remove us from this toxic environment.  In the time of growth for my younger son and I, we also went to volunteer at a local homeless shelter by providing food with others outside before those who needed shelter went inside.  After dinner had been served, while clean up it ha...

When I began writing online in 2012, I never imagined how therapeutic it would become.  Of course knowing from a very early age that writing would be an outlet which freedom was granted in solitude.   I started to create my own narrative by trying to live what I thought was a better life, always allowing room for error, admitting  faults and making room for improvements.   Life wasn't gifted to us to judge or condemn another soul as each of us have a struggle and weight to hold and perhaps help the other in times of need.   Like everyone else, to have an opportunity to make choices independently, see the results and learn.  I don't want the responsibility of telling someone else they did wrong when I know full well I am capable of doing the same..  So, while spending time in this life, doing what we can keep trying, no matter how slow.   I will do my best, and live what I teach and hope you can do the s...

Throughout the last few years, my journey has taught me a lot of things, one of the most important has been on mental health.   History repeats itself unless we brave the wilderness to confront it, challenge it and then change it.   5 brothers, I’ve been married 2 times & I have 2 boys.  I’ve seen what men go through and frankly it upsets me a lot.   Men are expected to be the strong hold in a family, to listen to their elders and do what they are told, even if it isn’t right.  Why?  Well, from what I understand, if men don’t, they are then chastised, belittled and made to feel as if they’ve betrayed the “man code”.   Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is changing but I have seen first hand, the misogyny, bigotry and conformity men face.  Frankly I dislike it. I’ve seen men be told to.. “shut up and sit down”  that .. “if they can’t be a man, they are a (insert name of female genitalia)”  A man should know his place in the family, a...

I haven’t written in here for a wee bit as I am working on some steps in recovery which require me to be present in life, with the big changes I’ve made.. but let me give you some words of advise or better yet, words of experience...  Firstly I did what most of you are either starting to recognize or plan.  I left my exnar. (A term used to describe abusive people in your past) In the middle of chaos, with a 15 year old boy and with the help of the police and child services.  The leaving took 1 full year of planning.  Although we had already been walking on egg shells (our son and I) and pretending to be “okay” the falsehood was hard to keep secret.  Part of me was excited to live life again, the other part was fear of getting caught (and for the first time ever, I’ll say this) fear of losing our lives.  We finally left.  It wasn’t that easy but this isn’t why I’m here today..  I’m here today to help you build steps towards recovery.  Here is ...

When, and I speak with trepidation but when we return to whatever normal is, I hope we learnt some important lessons.  Simple but important... 1. The strength of a smile.  We’ve hidden behind masks (for the most of us) I miss facial gestures.  I miss the strength of a smile, how it made me feel how I saw the expression of another. 2. The power of a hug.  My lord.. hugs are part of my being.  I squish the heck out of people.  It feeds my soul.  I will hug you to the moment you may feel uncomfortable then, you’ll fall into my arms and feel better again. 3. The life of a conversations with others.  Sharing stories, laughing at experiences, yelling at the TV during a sporting event.  Mostly laughing. 4. Discovering how being in the moment has taught me to love life.  I feel I always did but now, more so than ever.  Sacrificing what I knew over a year ago to be where I am today.. I cannot express how tough it’s been but how much I’ve cha...

 I have been fortunate enough to meet people and traveled to places I never dreamt possible as a child.  My life, as many others, started out narrow with small expectations has almost come full circle. Perhaps with ones who were willing to help guide me through the journey I was always one to trust and take the others hand.   After a few short years of life, I was exposed to kindness.  A moment that has taught me more than I could have imagined.  Blessed with a blended family, I was given lessons of grace through struggles and again, was taught more than I could have anticipated.     Every.. single.. person..    In my life has shape or help create who I am today and for that, I will not apologize.   What I do apologize for is the fear I carry forward of life repeating itself when it was more than I thought I could bare.  For some reason, I become blind to my reactions and forget the good moments that shaped who I...

Let's keep it simple.  The last few years have been a struggle but it's also something else we forget to acknowledge.   It's taught all of us what we value, the f reedom to live simply.  We can make a change, it is within us even in fear.   Take a moment to give empathy, to listen and make a change for the whole world, not just your community, your country but all for a better place.   Living in fear is not an answer, take that step outside and try some of the following..

  However you do it, I encourage you to find peace.   Believing  that peace was a place, I would often try to find it.   Looking under trees, beside streams of water surrounded by mountains or a place of service where someone would take care of my needs, even walking through a library in search of the book I thought the answer laid.   . . Now, several years later, discovering peace isn't a place but a mind set.  . . Years have brought me to this, perhaps it won't take you as long but however we get there, isn't as important as arriving to the understanding "peace of mind." Not a soul can put a dark cloud over you, it cannot be taken or even given away.  Peace of mind is when you slow down and look at the greater picture.  Know that if something isn't meant to be, it's okay and what is, will come.   . . Today, take a deep breath and a moment to let go of what takes away your peace.  Recognize joy, gratitude and ju...