We all know one person

I can bet that at one point or another in your life you’ve had a burning question about why you are here. what is your purpose. I have, and at times It’s been a struggle.   Why did something happen?   Well, this is what I can surmise.   With all the circumstances that have been presented thus far, I have overcome them.  I reflect on how and why.   How?   While falling, I would find the reason to get up.  After time, looking back I would see that what I felt was an insurmountable climb, it was simply a step up towards something bigger. Each challenge taught me about forgiveness and love.   Knowing now, forgiveness isn’t something that happens over night but an event that happens over days, months and years.   This brings me to the answer to the question which lays within myself and in all of you. Why? To show that forgiveness isn’t just for the other person.  Forgiveness isn’t an act t...

In life, we carry a tool box that no one can see and life experiences are the tools we gain along the way.   We stumble, then learn to get back up.  Wiping with our hands, what brought us down.  Pain can teach us a lot, more on how to become resilient, becoming empathic and mostly, forgiving.   Some of the tools are brighter than others.  They teach us to fix what is wrong, to be braver and smarter each day.  When you need a tool you've learnt, no matter how hard the experience was, it will be there to help you fix things, become better, and to heal.

By now, you may know that I've had the diverse life, mostly surrounded by men.   5 brothers, and 2 sons and a few relationships. Throughout life, I've seen some ups and downs from a perspective of a woman but .. at times, listening to a guys point of view here is what I've learnt.   Women were to be at home, taking care of the family and men, they were to bring home the money, pay the bills and not worry about the next step.  Men were to be that knight in shining armour on the horse, saving the day. If a man needs a break, they were seen as "weak" or "unstable".  When a man cries or when they break down, or even ask for help, they feel they no longer "fit" for society. When a woman needs a break, she needs to heal, she requires support and love, compassion and understanding. Women have broken that glass barrier but why haven't men?  Why hasn't society stopped that thought process?  Food for thought You are at work and walk ...

Gifts, we receive them throughout life however, most of us see them as tangible items passed on to us from another.  I however, see it much differently and of course mostly due to life's experiences.   As a young girl, the neighbours would give me cookies and tea when they saw me wandering the neighbourhood alone.  Yes, the cookies and tea would fill my tummy but what they gave me was safety, security and compassion.  Of course, I didn't see it then but I do now. As a teen, I would watch in awe my father play his guitar.  I would be at his feet, singing along.  Later in life, he gifted me his guitar.  It wasn't about the present but about being present throughout his life.  He gifted me patience, love, empathy and stillness.   As a woman, one of my older brothers tried to gift one of my children his drums.  I refused them in fear of days and nights drowning in the sound of something I wasn't sure I could bare to he...

The journey of forgiveness for me started when I was 15.  Due to finding out one of their girlfriends became pregnant, and it was a girl.   The weeks following I had, what I thought were dreams, however in fact, they were flashbacks which I suppressed.  Evenings of being touched when I was 10.  Days of being told to "pretend" they were superhero's that had to do "things".  Then when I was 12, I told someone in which, they told me, "Everyone has secrets" and to forget about it, this was to  never happen again.   I don't believe it ever did happen again, what I do know is that it came flooding back in the instant the pregnancy was announced.   Shortly after, speaking to a school councilor, they registered me with a group with others to talk about it.  Starting privately with a therapist until I was comfortable.  Learning to speak about what happened, and with who.  I went from confused to hurt to an...

I’ve been struggling with the ability to write lately as life does not stop nor grant forgiveness when, at times we feel it necessary.  Given the last wee bit of time, reflection is a essential coping tool, and for that, I am grateful.   Everyone has a moment, in which they will be challenged to face a decision.  That outcome will be some of your most defining moments.   A friend told me in a moment of privacy the other day this; "Anger is like holding a bit of hot coal, you will always be burnt before you pass it on." Anger will consume you. For every moment I have been given the choice; Anger or to forgive, I have more often than not, chosen to forgive.  Now, I am not perfect and many times, I struggle with this.  I know for one thing, anger drains me.  I literally  can sleep for days on end, want to crawl into a small child and cry.   When I forgive though?  I feel as free as the wind which blows between the...

While I sit, in a quite space I reflect on faith.  Being that it is Easter Sunday, I see faith as a non-denominational discussion.  My question today for you is;  If we are to understand that we are created in the image of "god" and we have faith in that, why do we not have faith in ourselves?   Many discussions are centred around losing faith in ourselves, not being able to compete a task, failure at what is presented. Do we know that as much as success is part of life, the same can be for failure?  Learning and becoming better is part of the journey we travel on.  To condem failure is to condem life.   Take a moment to look back and see how that each time you've fallen, you've gotten back up.  The times that you have succeeded in the step back, you have become stronger, wiser and better. Believe in yourself and have the same faith.