Becoming

Having several uncompleted posts as life was happening, I lost track of time and perhaps, a bit of desire to write.  As always, I write with honesty which I was struggling with.  

Today, I had a session with my counsellor.  It was amazing to hear myself speak about my journey lately.

over a year ago, I was deep within what I thought was a swamp.  I could barely see through the murky waters, struggling to fight the weeds that felt as if I was being pulled down.  I'd get a glimpse of light through and kept on fighting my way forward.  Once out of the swamp and weeds, I gained my foundation and started to work upwards.  The rocks beneath my feet crumbled at times, stumbling and of course falling to my knees.  I would take moments of rest for recovery, often giving myself the grace of tears.  Not wanting to look back in fear of what was chasing me, I kept forging forward.  

Today, I spoke about the journey so far and with a burst of emotion let it out and saying;  "I may not be at the peak of it all yet but I'm getting there." 

I didn't know this is what I'd write about until now but I'll share with you something I said to a dear friend, without thought, these words came from my voice, escaping my lips and before I knew it, I sat in shock.  I said what I said and, I believe it.

"Ain't nobody going to tell me I can't"

At the peak of this, I know that I will NOT settle for anything less than extraordinary.  My oldest son and his wife told me months ago, "Mum, never settle for average because average is not extortionary." 

The thing is, love shouldn't become the focus but the ability to become more together can be.  Love comes from encouraging, becoming and accepting.  More so when you work on yourself.

Love always,

Nicky.