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Beneath the Surface: How Scuba Diving Taught Me to Breathe, Slow Down, and Be Present

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Earlier this year, I did something I never imagined I could. I went scuba diving. Not just in theory — but in the open waters of the Dominican Republic, fully geared up, descending into an underwater world that would forever change how I see life. The Journey Begins My scuba diving journey started far from the ocean, right in the middle of my city. I signed up for beginner lessons with a mix of curiosity and nerves. From the start, it was… rough. My body didn’t want to cooperate. I couldn’t stay still, couldn’t get my balance, and more than once, I ended up flopping around like a fish out of water. The skills I had to learn were challenging, but they became powerful metaphors — for life, not just diving. Let me break down two of the most important ones: 1. Navigation Scuba navigation isn’t just about finding your way — it’s about remembering where you began. Whether using a compass or landmarks, you measure time and distance to know how long the return journey will take. It’s a skill...
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It's going to be okay

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Let me be blunt. I support others through their trauma while working through my own. And truthfully? Some days, the doubt inside me is louder than the belief I’ve spent years building in therapy. That inner voice tells me to run. Flight kicks in before I can breathe. Because when you’ve accepted unhealthy behavior long enough, safety feels suspicious—and trust feels dangerous. But then... someone kind, honest, and genuine shows up. And still, the walls rise. A simple comment can send your cortisol soaring, your self-doubt screaming. So you say: "I won't allow that." You protect your peace. But… what if their words came from a good place? What if they weren’t harmful—but loving? Here’s what I try to do instead: Pause + Reflect – Where is this feeling really coming from? Speak Up – Use “I feel…” and express it calmly. Listen to Their Response – If it’s healthy, you’ll feel it. If it’s not, you’ll know. Running doesn’t protect you. It just wears you dow...
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Less than, equal to and greater than. Which will you become?

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Why is it that when we struggle in the darkness, we fail to see the light?  It is when we are in our deepest moments, we fall inward and forget to look out.  It is in that moment of darkness, the light will show us our way back.   Like many of you, I’ve had a fair share of adversity.  It’s part of life and, in the end the best part. Some of you would ask me, why I say it’s the best?   Adversity teaches us many things, including giving us the gift of strength.  If everything we encountered was easy, what would we learn?  Would we be less than or equal to what we are given in life?  If we are challenged, we become greater than.  Each adversity I’ve faced has given me strength, knowledge and in the end, joy.  I know that I am, now greater than I was at the ages of 16, 40, and 50.  Those numbers represent the larger moments in my life that I HAD to become more, and for those times, I am grateful.  
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Tool box - The cloth

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Life has a way of teaching us profound lessons, often through the experiences that leave us feeling broken, lost, and unsure. But it's in these very moments we can find our greatest strength. I’ve shared with you the milestones that have shaped who I am today. The most important lesson I’ve learned—though painful—was about the cloth. A symbol of care, of compassion, and of the selfless love we give to others. But over time, I learned that the cloth needs to be woven not just for others, but for ourselves as well. From a young age, I felt an innate need to return love and kindness to the world. I learned compassion, empathy, and forgiveness as a child, and those traits have guided me ever since. But the true power in these virtues comes not in giving endlessly, but in giving with balance—setting boundaries, and knowing when to protect our own heart. After a difficult marriage, I set out to prove to myself that I could stand alone, that I could live a life of purpose, love, and givin...
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The gratitude jar and butterflies

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In the face of overwhelming challenges, I learned to find strength in the smallest acts of kindness. While navigating the difficult decision to leave a relationship I had invested over two decades into, with children I loved and cared for, I discovered something profound. Despite the fear, uncertainty, and pain, I found moments of grace—what I call "butterflies." These butterflies were fleeting, gentle gestures of kindness that lifted me, reminding me I wasn’t alone. During this time, I had the support of my employer, Keith, who allowed me the space to attend therapy sessions, ensuring I didn't lose income while working through my struggles. His belief in me, even when I couldn’t see it myself, gave me the strength to keep going. In moments of deep vulnerability, Keith's support showed me the power of believing in someone else's journey, even when they couldn’t yet believe in themselves. There was also Sandy, a friend who gave us more than just a safe place to sta...
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Cultivating - Gardening tools

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Life has a way of challenging us in ways we never expect, but those very challenges can become the catalysts for our greatest transformations. For so long, I was living in the shadow of my past — a past where I felt small, powerless, and without a clear path forward. But then, I was given the greatest gift of all: my first son. He became my reason to rise, to be better, to create a future I never had but so desperately wanted for him. In his eyes, I saw not just the love of a child but the reflection of the woman I could become.  Then, years later another son who I saw that taught me resilience. In the years that followed, life tested me in ways that felt unbearable. From moments of violence to living in fear, I endured and tried to make a home for my children. I believed that in the darkest times, I was simply surviving. I didn't know how to escape the cycle, and I didn't believe I was strong enough to stand up for myself. But deep down, I always knew that I had a choice — tha...
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Use your experiences for strength - The Notebook

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I'm diving in.  Yes, it’s terrifying to expose the parts of me that have been buried for so long, but I believe you will understand how these pieces have shaped me into the person I am today.  I share each of these bits to help you. I was around 10 when it all began—the "encounters." I was confused, caught between the love and trust of those closest to me, and the message they unknowingly taught me: that I was to be seen but never heard. My truth was something to be hidden, because somehow, I believed it was my fault. We moved, but the cycle continued. It wasn’t until I became a woman, around 12, that the encounters stopped. My sister, a silent strength, helped me navigate the changes of growing up, and in her own quiet way, she showed me that I wasn’t alone. When I tried to speak up, to tell an adult, I was told that it was just something that happened in every family. “Brush it under the carpet,” they said. I remember thinking, this can’t be right . Why didn’t someone t...
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