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Less than, equal to and greater than. Which will you become?

Why is it that when we struggle in the darkness, we fail to see the light?  It is when we are in our deepest moments, we fall inward and forget to look out.  It is in that moment of darkness, the light will show us our way back.   Like many of you, I’ve had a fair share of adversity.  It’s part of life and, in the end the best part. Some of you would ask me, why I say it’s the best?   Adversity teaches us many things, including giving us the gift of strength.  If everything we encountered was easy, what would we learn?  Would we be less than or equal to what we are given in life?  If we are challenged, we become greater than.  Each adversity I’ve faced has given me strength, knowledge and in the end, joy.  I know that I am, now greater than I was at the ages of 16, 40, and 50.  Those numbers represent the larger moments in my life that I HAD to become more, and for those times, I am grateful.  

Tool box - The cloth

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Life has a way of teaching us profound lessons, often through the experiences that leave us feeling broken, lost, and unsure. But it's in these very moments we can find our greatest strength. I’ve shared with you the milestones that have shaped who I am today. The most important lesson I’ve learned—though painful—was about the cloth. A symbol of care, of compassion, and of the selfless love we give to others. But over time, I learned that the cloth needs to be woven not just for others, but for ourselves as well. From a young age, I felt an innate need to return love and kindness to the world. I learned compassion, empathy, and forgiveness as a child, and those traits have guided me ever since. But the true power in these virtues comes not in giving endlessly, but in giving with balance—setting boundaries, and knowing when to protect our own heart. After a difficult marriage, I set out to prove to myself that I could stand alone, that I could live a life of purpose, love, and givin...

The gratitude jar and butterflies

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In the face of overwhelming challenges, I learned to find strength in the smallest acts of kindness. While navigating the difficult decision to leave a relationship I had invested over two decades into, with children I loved and cared for, I discovered something profound. Despite the fear, uncertainty, and pain, I found moments of grace—what I call "butterflies." These butterflies were fleeting, gentle gestures of kindness that lifted me, reminding me I wasn’t alone. During this time, I had the support of my employer, Keith, who allowed me the space to attend therapy sessions, ensuring I didn't lose income while working through my struggles. His belief in me, even when I couldn’t see it myself, gave me the strength to keep going. In moments of deep vulnerability, Keith's support showed me the power of believing in someone else's journey, even when they couldn’t yet believe in themselves. There was also Sandy, a friend who gave us more than just a safe place to sta...

Cultivating - Gardening tools

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Life has a way of challenging us in ways we never expect, but those very challenges can become the catalysts for our greatest transformations. For so long, I was living in the shadow of my past — a past where I felt small, powerless, and without a clear path forward. But then, I was given the greatest gift of all: my first son. He became my reason to rise, to be better, to create a future I never had but so desperately wanted for him. In his eyes, I saw not just the love of a child but the reflection of the woman I could become.  Then, years later another son who I saw that taught me resilience. In the years that followed, life tested me in ways that felt unbearable. From moments of violence to living in fear, I endured and tried to make a home for my children. I believed that in the darkest times, I was simply surviving. I didn't know how to escape the cycle, and I didn't believe I was strong enough to stand up for myself. But deep down, I always knew that I had a choice — tha...

Use your experiences for strength - The Notebook

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I'm diving in.  Yes, it’s terrifying to expose the parts of me that have been buried for so long, but I believe you will understand how these pieces have shaped me into the person I am today.  I share each of these bits to help you. I was around 10 when it all began—the "encounters." I was confused, caught between the love and trust of those closest to me, and the message they unknowingly taught me: that I was to be seen but never heard. My truth was something to be hidden, because somehow, I believed it was my fault. We moved, but the cycle continued. It wasn’t until I became a woman, around 12, that the encounters stopped. My sister, a silent strength, helped me navigate the changes of growing up, and in her own quiet way, she showed me that I wasn’t alone. When I tried to speak up, to tell an adult, I was told that it was just something that happened in every family. “Brush it under the carpet,” they said. I remember thinking, this can’t be right . Why didn’t someone t...

Use your experiences as a guide for kindness - Shoes

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Now that you know a bit more about this journey, I want to share with you how those moments shaped who I am today. When I was just five years old, a complete stranger took my hand and led me to a local mall. At that age, I didn’t understand what was happening. I placed my trust in this person, someone who wanted nothing in return but to show me kindness. That experience planted the seed for how I wanted to live my life—guided by love, generosity, and trust. This stranger gave me more than just a shopping trip; she gave me a glimpse of what the world could be when we offer kindness without expectation. It wasn’t about the material gifts—though I still remember those red shoes like they were yesterday—it was about the act of giving. Her kindness became a lesson for me to trust others with an open heart and to pay it forward, no matter how small the gesture. My intentions have always been simple: to live with kindness, and to share it wherever I can. When she asked me what I wanted, I nev...

Our tool boxes, with gratitude

Today, I had the unexpected joy of reconnecting with a friend I hadn’t seen in nearly a decade. We shared stories of where life had taken us, catching up on the new chapters that had unfolded. Last time we saw each other, I was in the midst of a major life transformation. We talked about our kids and how we use the lessons from our own lives to help them become stronger, wiser, and better than we were. As I shared my story with her, I realized how far I’ve come. After years of being in unhealthy relationships, I have finally vowed to put myself first. This moment of self-recognition was a long time coming, and I was amazed at the inner strength I felt as I spoke my truths. It gave me a sense of pride I had longed for. Reflecting back to when I was a young girl, I remember the abuse I endured for years. At 16, I found the courage to press charges and leave everything behind, stepping into the unknown of a foster home. I often think—where did that fortitude come from? Maybe it was the de...